5ive Guys FC

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A A Gill

Andrew Swanston read law at Cambridge, but was inspired to write by his lifelong interest in early modern history. His Thomas Hill novels – The King’s Spy, The King’s Exile and The King’s Return – are set against the backdrops of the English Civil War, Cromwell’s Commonwealth and the early Restoration respectively. He is also the author of Waterloo: The Bravest Man and Beautiful Star and Other Stories. His first historical thriller set during the reign of Elizabeth I – Incendium (published in paperback as The Incendium Plot) – introduced readers to the academic, lawyer and intelligencer Dr Christopher Radcliff, whose adventures continue in Chaos. Andrew Swanston lives in Surrey.

A D Swanston

A E Langsford

A G Hopkins

A. J. BAIME is the New York Times best-selling author of The Arsenal of Democracy: FDR, Detroit, and an Epic Quest to Arm an America at War and Go Like Hell: Ford, Ferrari, and Their Battle for Speed and Glory at Le Mans. Both books are in development for major motion pictures. Baime is a longtime regular contributor to the Wall Street Journal, and his articles have also appeared in the New York Times, Popular Science, and Men’s Journal. He lives in Granite Bay, California. Visit him at facebook.com/ajbaime and trumanbook.com.

A J Baime

A J Jacobs

A J P Taylor

Anthony James Pollard is a British medieval historian, specialising in the fifteenth century and in particular the Wars of the Roses. A leading authority in the field, he is profesor emeritus of Teesside University. His books include North-Eastern England during the Wars of the Roses, Richard III and the Princes in theTower, Imagining Robin Hood: the Late Medieval Stories in Historical Context and Warwick the kingmaker: Politics, Power and Fame.

A J Pollard

A J Rochester

A K Benjamin is a clinical neuropsychologist and the author of Let Me Not Be Mad: A Story of Unravelling Minds.

A K Benjamin

A. L. Berridge read English at Oxford, and taught for ten years before moving into television, where her production credits range from period drama and thrillers to long-running soaps. She has written two previous novels, Top Ten besteller Honour and the Sword and In the Name of the King. Into the Valley of Death is her third novel.

A L Berridge

Alison Gaylin's first job was as a reporter for a celebrity tabloid, which sparked a lifelong interest in writing about people committing despicable acts. More than a decade later, she wrote and published her Edgar-nominated first novel, HIDE YOUR EYES. 
 
She's since published nine more books, including the USA Today and international bestselling Brenna Spector suspense series, which has been nominated for the Edgar, Anthony and Thriller awards and won the Shamus award. 
 
She lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, cat and dog.

A L Gaylin

A Maxwell-Hyslop

A McArthur

A P Wavell

A.S. Webb is the Sunday Times bestselling author of Daughter of Chaos, the first instalment of The Dark Pantheon Trilogy. She is inspired by stories rooted in history and mythology, that push the boundaries of imagination and urge us to reflect on what it means to be human.

A S Webb

A. A. Dhand is the author of six previous novels, and has been shortlisted for the CWA Steel Dagger Award. His DI Harry Virdee novels are currently being adapted for TV by the BBC. He was raised in Bradford and spent his youth observing the city from behind the counter of a small convenience store. After qualifying as a pharmacist, he worked in London and travelled extensively before returning to Bradford to start his own business and begin writing. The history, diversity and darkness of the city have inspired all his novels. For more information about A. A. Dhand and his books, follow him on X @aadhand, and on Instagram @aa_dhand.

A. A. Dhand

A. A. Gill

A. A. Milne

A. Anatoli

A. B. Poranek grew up sharing her time between Ontario, Canada and rural Poland, and eventually completed a veterinary degree at the Warsaw University of Life Sciences. A lover of mythology and history, she enjoys exploring both in her writing. Her debut novel, Where the Dark Stands Still, an instant New York Times bestseller, is an ode to Poland's folktales, while A Treachery of Swans transports readers to a world inspired by 17th century France.

A. B. Poranek

A. Bradley

Professor A. C. Grayling is Principal of the New College of the Humanities at Northeastern University, London, and a Supernumerary Fellow of St Anne's College, Oxford. He has written and edited over thirty books on philosophy, history, science and current affairs. For several years he wrote columns for the Guardian newspaper and The Times and was the chairman of the 2014 Man Booker Prize.

A. C. Grayling

A.D. Miller is the author of Snowdrops, The Earl of Petticoat Lane and The Faithful Couple. Snowdrops was a bestseller and was shortlisted for many prizes including the Man Booker and the CWA Gold Dagger. It was translated into 25 languages. As Moscow Correspondent of The Economist A.D. Miller has travelled across the former Soviet Union and covered the Orange Revolution in Ukraine; he is now the magazine’s Culture Editor based in London. 
 
admillerbooks.com

A. D. Miller

A. E. Ellis

A. E. W. Mason

A. Humphreys

A. Igoni Barrett was born in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, in 1979 and lives in Lagos. He is a winner of the 2005 BBC World Service short story competition, the recipient of a Chinua Achebe Center Fellowship, a Norman Mailer Center Fellowship, and a Rockefeller Foundation Bellagio Center Residency. His short story collection, Love is Power, or Something Like That, was published in 2013. In 2014 he was named on the Africa39 list of sub-Saharan African writers under 40. Blackass is his first novel.

A. Igoni Barrett

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Tim Minchin

‘Life will sometimes seem long and tough. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad. And then you’ll be old. And then you’ll be dead. There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence, and that is: fill it.’ 
 
A book for the romantic-realist in all of us, You Don’t Have to Have a Dream offers Tim Minchin’s inimitable thoughts and advice on life, art, success, kindness, love, and thriving in a meaningless universe. Drawn from three of his iconic commencement addresses, and beautifully designed with specially commissioned illustrations throughout, it’s a rallying cry for creativity, critical thinking, and compassion in our daily lives. 
 
It’s never too late to put something beautiful out into the world.

You Don't Have To Have A Dream

Advice for the Incrementally Ambitious

The Fence

'The literary equivalent of a great session.' Felicity Cloake 
 
'A brilliant hymn to the holy sainted pub' Marina O'Loughlin 
 
Would Queen Victoria have been good value over a pint? Where can you find the most northerly pub in the UK? What is good pub etiquette and do you follow it? 
 
This isn’t just a book full of Britain’s best pubs, although rest assured, we have plenty of them. Rather, this is a book that is as much for the pub as about the pub – a collection of ale-sodden stories from every corner of the UK, from the country’s classiest pub urinals, to the Wetherspoons inside a service station just off the M40. 
 
With tales and trivia from Lanarkshire to the Lizard, this is a love letter to the great British pub, in all its faded and eccentric glory. 
 
Compiled by The Fence, contributors include Tom Parker Bowles, Charlotte Ivers, William Hanson, Jimmy Mcintosh, John Banville and Katy Hessel.

The Pub

Wit, wisdom & weirdness on Britain’s best-loved establishment

Death in Paradise

THE OFFICIAL PUZZLE BOOK FOR HIT BBC TV SERIES 
 
On the idyllic island of Saint Marie, there’s been a murder. 
 
Fresh off the plane, you are the island’s last hope of finding an answer to this bewildering crime that's puzzled detective inspectors for years. Only one question matters: do you have what it takes? 
 
The official puzzle book to accompany the beloved long-running TV series, this fiendishly entertaining book - featuring 150 mind-bending puzzles - whisks you away into the world of Death in Paradise, casting you among your favourite characters and training your brain along the way. 
 
So, grab a mojito and your magnifying glass . . . it's time to find out whodunnit. 
 
Perfect for fans of Death in Paradise, Beyond Paradise and Return to Paradise!

Death in Paradise: The Puzzle Book

Mackenzie Crook

What if you had the chance to tell your hero just how much they meant to you? 
 
If Nick Drake came to my house 
and knocked upon the door 
I’m sure I’d be more happy 
than I’ve ever been before… 
 
In If Nick Drake Came to My House, Mackenzie Crook – the creator of Detectorists and Worzel Gummidge – explores the power of art to impact our lives, expressed through verse and image depicting an imaginary visit from the late, great singer-songwriter. A tender homage to a classic book by Joan Gale Thomas, Crook’s first book for adults is infused with his characteristic warm humour, both in the short yet powerful story and his own beautiful illustrations. It’s a book for anyone who has ever wished they had the chance to tell their hero how much they meant to them.

If Nick Drake Came to My House

Michael Rosen

Discover the poetry of the people. 
 
What are words? They're the beginning of our stories: portals to treasured memories, to the strange sayings that seem to be unique to our own families and the beloved people that say them to us. So, what was your gran's favourite word for a time-waster? How did your dad answer the question 'What's the time?'? And just how many responses are there to the daily query 'What's for dinner?' Even better, how do these words change as they travel across our regions? 
 
In a joyful journey through a year of weird words and fantastic phrases, one of the nation's favourite wordsmiths takes a tour of the British Isles and all its vernacular idiosyncrasies, as well as reflecting on the joys of English, in a delightful book for anyone who loves language - whether following its rules or breaking them!

Rosen’s Almanac

Weird and wonderful words for every day of the year

Emma Stokes

'From a Bloody Mary to a Death Flip, each recipe is easy to follow and comes with a detailed description and facts of the drink. The handy book lets you navigate by base spirit, flavour and style &ndash; so it&rsquo;s ideal for those who know what kind of mix they want to learn.' The Evening Standard, The 10 Best Cocktails Books. 
 
Welcome to The Periodic Table of Cocktails! Instead of hydrogen to helium, here you'll find mojitos to martinis - 106 classic cocktails arranged following the logical ordering of The Periodic Table of Elements. 
 
Find your favourite cocktail in the table and discover new cocktails to try - all the cocktails in the same column and immediately to the left or right all share characteristics - flavours, methods and styles you'll enjoy. 
 
See how the most popular cocktails - new and old - were dreamed up, learn how these cocktails are made, how to order them and, most crucially, how to enjoy them at their best. Plus find out more delicious concoctions to try in this expert guide.

The Periodic Table of COCKTAILS

Nick Holt

You can never take what you love too seriously and The Periodic Table of Football celebrates this fact. 
 
Welcome to The Periodic Table of Football. Instead of hydrogen to helium, here you’ll find Pelé to Sepp Blatter – 108 elements from the football pantheon arranged by their properties and behaviour on and off the pitch. 
 
This expert guide spans over 150 years to offer an original perspective of the beautiful game.

The Periodic Table of FOOTBALL

Neil Kulkarni

Welcome to The Periodic Table of Hip Hop. Instead of hydrogen to helium, here you'll find James Brown to Kendrick Lamar - 94 artists that have defined Hip Hop arranged following the logic of The Periodic Table of Elements. 
 
MCs, DJs, rappers and producers are the elements here, and this expert guide orders them to reveal their contrasts and connections, along with key movements and moments in the history of this music genre. 
 
Includes: James Brown, P-Funk, Kool Herc, Melle Mel, Sugarhill Records, Fab Five Freddy, Whodini, Run DMC, Rick Rubin, LL Cool J, Kendrick Lamar and Jay Z and many, many more...

The Periodic Table of HIP HOP

Rosie Holt

Rosie Holt, the desperate and loyal Tory MP famous for her viral twitter ‘interviews’, is finally here in book form to celebrate the last 14 years of Conservative government and explain to you, the British public, why the so called “scandals” or “controversial” decisions derided by the left were completely right (and intentional) all along. She’ll make Tories of you all yet. 
 
Having flourished as an MP during the reign of Boris and clung on through to Rishi Sunak’s government, via a short and turbulent detour through the brief fever dream of Liz Truss, Rosie – everyone’s favourite MP – will have you cheering and desperate to ensure the Tories rule for another 14 years. Let’s make Britain great again. (Again.)

Why We Were Right

Caitlin Moran

'A must-read eye-opener that makes you laugh, cry, get angry and get happy on every page. It's magnificent' Bob MortimerAll the statistics agree: there has never been a more difficult time to be a teenage boy. And, therefore, there has never been a more difficult time to be the parent of a teenage boy.Failing in education; facing a hopeless jobs market; getting their sexual education from violent pornography; and being endlessly targeted by online influencers who, yes, tell them to make their beds, and go to the gym - but also push dodgy cryptocurrency schemes, and think the best place for a woman is ‘working in a Romanian sex-dungeon’.What About Men? opens with a group of angry teenage boys claiming feminism has ‘gone too far’, and asks: what do boys actually mean when they say that? Are all angry boys, underneath everything, scared? What happens when your son becomes a fan of Andrew Tate? And why do one-in-ten gym-going boys say they’ve felt ‘suicidal’ about their bodies?Having spent a decade writing about women, girls, and their problems, Caitlin Moran found that, in reality, boys and girls have more in common than they think. Women have spent decades trying to feel better about their bodies; trying to find positive role-models; and feeling angry, and scared, about their place in the world. If feminism has ‘gone too far’ is it because we have started to solve these problems? And, if so, what can boys, and men, learn from this?Both laugh-out-loud funny and devastatingly truthful, What About Men? is the essential handbook on 21st century masculinity: the birth-to-death guide on how to help boys rebel against anger, cynicism, misogyny and despair, and find the joy in being a boy.

What About Men?

Pope Lonergan

Nominated for the Chortle Comedy Book Award 2023 
 
'Blisteringly well written, deeply humane and very funny' Daily Telegraph 
'Enough to make you die laughing' Daily Mail 
'Funny and moving' Daily Express 
 
Whether he's initiating a coup d'état against new regulations with the residents, or forging a bond with the 98-year old who once called him a fat slut, Pope Lonergan's work is infinitely varied. This no-holds-barred account shows what life inside a care home is really like, for both residents and carers. Featuring night-time drama, incontinence pads and the uniquely dark humour of one double-amputee Alzheimer's patient, here you can learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably really didn't) about Britain's care system. 
 
This important memoir challenges us all to think differently about the value of our elderly, and also the carers who look after them.

I'll Die After Bingo

My unlikely life as a care home assistant

John Stern

Welcome to The Periodic Table of Cricket. Here you'll find the essential elements - batsmen and bowlers past and present - that have left a lasting legacy on this great sport. 
 
As with chemical elements, these international personalities have been arranged based on their characteristics in and out of play. Instead of metals and non-metals, here we have patient and determined defensive players, from Jack Hobbs to Hanif Mohammad and Alastair Cook transitioning to fast-paced and attacking players including Shane Warne, Fred Trueman and 'white lightning' Allan Donald with a whole host of others in between. 
 
See how the best international players stack up against each other in this original guide to cricket.

The Periodic Table of CRICKET

Mo Gilligan

Come on my journey. Look at where man's come from. I was working in retail in 2017. 
 
You might know Mo as the critically acclaimed stand-up comedian, BAFTA-winning presenter, Masked Singer judge and social media mega star. But do you know the moments that really made him? Opening up on the turning points, the good times, the challenges and the lessons learned, this is Mo as you've never seen him before. 
 
Journeying through childhood memories in South London, Mo reminisces about school days and old-school raving, and takes us behind the scenes of his first comedy gigs, the creation of the original Geezer, selling out national tours and becoming one of TV's most in-demand stars. Share the moment that Mo decided he wanted to be a comedian, the moment he went viral, the moment he realised he was famous (and how to deal with it), the moment his Netflix special dropped, the moment he won his BAFTA and the moments he still has to come. 
 
In among the laugh-out-loud observations, life lessons and candid storytelling, there lies the bigger influences in Mo's life - the unsung heroes of the Black British comedy scene, the power of community and the feel-good legacy he wants to create. 
 
'The Funniest Man in Britain' The Times

That Moment When

Life Stories from Way Back Then

Jack Rooke

This book will definitely make you laugh and might just make you cry, but it could also help save a life. 
 
 
Praise for Big Boys: 
 
'Sharp, clever, bold, tender, wise and looking at men from angles I've never seen before. And funny. Thank God for funny!' Russell T. Davies 
 
'It is warm and funny ... can pierce your heart when you least expect it' Guardian 
 
Praise for Cheer the F**K Up: 
 
'Cheer the F**K Up is, without a doubt, the most meaningful and funniest book I have ever read on mental health and loss. Jack is a genius (fact) and he weaves together themes of love, grief, sexuality, trauma, growing up, mental health and friendship in a memoir that will stand the test of time. If you are a human living on this planet YOU NEED THIS BOOK! It has never been more important and never been more needed.' - Scarlett Curtis 
 
'Once you've had the pleasure of reading a work by Jack Rooke, you'll have spent time with one of the funniest, warmest, most caring people I've ever known, and he'll feel like your new favourite friend. This book deals with difficult topics in such a beautiful, thoughtful and hilarious way. It's the book we all need in our lives.' - Nicola Coughlan 
 
 
 
Cheer the F**K Up is a bold, brilliant and very personal account of a young comedian's experiences with mental health. An ode to the importance of friendship, Jack Rooke takes us on a mission to better understand the reasons why so many people are struggling, and how we can all feel better equipped in knowing how to support that one friend we might be that bit more worried about. 
 
Part comedic memoir, part advice guide, this book is a fresh and timely take on a huge issue very close to Jack's heart - in 2015, while working as an ambassador for a male mental health charity, he lost one of his best friends to suicide. 
 
Taking you on a journey through his life and experiences with grief, sexuality, depression and more, Jack offers his own frank and powerful advice on how best to have meaningful conversations about a loved one's state of mind. Hilarious and heart-breaking in equal measure, Cheer the F**K Up will definitely make you laugh and might just make you cry, but it could also help save a life.

By the Creator of Big Boys: Cheer the F**K Up

How to Save your Best Friend

Sarah Rowlands

Welcome to The Periodic Table of Wine! Instead of hydrogen to helium, here you'll find Chardonnay to Shiraz - grape varieties and wine names, as you would find wine in shops, arranged following the logical ordering of The Periodic Table of Elements. 
 
 Wine expert Sarah Rowland has arranged 127 wines by their essential colour, aroma and flavour properties, from white to rose to red and including sparkling, fortified and sweet wines too. The result is an engaging pocket guide to wine that makes navigating wine lists and off-licence shelves hassle free and easy for anyone. 
 
 Do you tend to stick to what you know and like? Find your favourite wine in the table and, in theory, you should like all the other wines in the same column and also the wines immediately to the left or right, regardless of colour, because they all share characteristics you'll enjoy. Then find out why they are similar, how to enjoy them, what to pair them with and even more wines to try in this expert guide.

The Periodic Table of WINE

Laura Belbin

SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 
 
'I just howled. Bloomin' love you' Giovanna Fletcher 
 
'You're hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh every day' Mrs Hinch 
 
 
When does Mary Effing Poppins arrive? 
 
Laura Belbin survived hitting her thirties (oh, to be wrinkle-free again), anxiety (just), motherhood (two adorable little shits) and the new body that went with it (a left tit that sags slightly more than the right, anyone?). In Knee Deep in Life she gives a fearless and filthy account of her transformation from no-responsibilities woman to being in demand 24/7, the heartaches and humiliations, and most importantly, her (definitely-pushed-to-the-limits-but-totally-indestructible) marriage to Steve, the man who helped her to hold it together when post-natal depression kicked in. 
 
 
Full of heart and wit - not to mention swearing that would make a sailor blush - this is the beast of a book Laura intends on riding into the hands of those people who doubt themselves every single day: the ones who have struggled to accept the way they look; the mums-to-be about to find themselves taking their first step towards parenthood; and the women bossing it like badasses every single day but never getting the credit they deserve. You are more than enough.

Knee Deep in Life

Wife, Mother, Realist… and why we’re already enough

Geoff Rowe

I don't like to brag but I can control a kayak brilliantly. Canoe? 
 
'Pardon' is the only French word that I know. I can only apologise. 
 
From Geoff Rowe and the Leicester Comedy Festival comes this brilliant tribute to that most British of jokes, the humble pun. 
 
Including a foreword from Dr Oliver Double and a wealth of hilarious (and occasionally groan-inducing) material from some of Britain's finest stand-up comedic talent, All Puns Blazing is a fun and fitting celebration of grassroots UK comedy. 
 
Featuring puns from: 
 
El Baldiniho - Lovdev Barpaga - Zahra Barri - Adele Cliff - Tony Cowards - Henry Dawe - Pauline Eyre - Friz Frizzle - Masai Graham - Sean Hegarty - Kevin Hudson - Leo Kearse - Colin Leggo - Nigel Lovell - Iain MacDonald - Kat Molinari - Laura Monmoth - Joseph Murphy - Graham Musk - Sean Patrick - Richard Pulsford - Paul Savage - Philip Simon - Rob Thomas - Andrew Tymms - Stevie Vegas - Chris Norton Walker - Darren Walsh - Richard Woolford - Jenan Younis

All Puns Blazing

The Best British Knockout Jokes

THE SUNDAY TIMES NUMBER ONE BESTSELLER 
 
'Exceptionally brilliant and powerful' Marina Hyde 
 
'This book is a hilarious memoir, a passionate polemic, and a moving manifesto on how to be a decent person and try, in the face of countless stresses, to live a full open-hearted, joyous life' Sunday Times 
 
A decade ago, Caitlin Moran thought she had it all figured out. Her instant bestseller How to Be a Woman was a game-changing take on feminism, the patriarchy, and the general 'hoo-ha' of becoming a woman. Back then, she firmly believed 'the difficult bit' was over, and her forties were going to be a doddle. 
 
If only she had known: when middle age arrives, a whole new bunch of tough questions need answering. Why isn't there such a thing as a 'Mum Bod'? How did sex get boring? What are men really thinking? Where did all that stuff in the kitchen drawers come from? Can feminists have Botox? Why has wine turned against you? How can you tell the difference between a Teenage Micro-Breakdown, and The Real Thing? Has feminism gone too far? And, as always, WHO'S LOOKING AFTER THE CHILDREN? 
 
Now with ageing parents, teenage daughters, a bigger bum and a To-Do list without end, Caitlin Moran is back with More Than A Woman: a guide to growing older, a manifesto for change, and a celebration of all those middle-aged women who keep the world turning.

More Than a Woman

The instant Sunday Times number one bestseller

Big Narstie

Mans here to help you help yourself. 
 
Real talk. One thing you've got to know about advice: there are two types. Sometimes the people who give the most advice to others are the last people you should be listening to. They just love the sound of their own voice. No matter what the problem is, they'll just say: 'Believe in yourself, you can do anything.' And then ... well, then there's the kind of advice that's just the truth. That's the sort of advice you might get from this book, and I'll warn you sometimes the truth ain't pretty. 
 
In these pages I'm gonna tell you some of my story and show you how you can change yours: how to survive school, how to get a job, how to deal with family, friends, love and PAIN. How to live your own life, not someone else's.

How to Be Narstie

Real talk on humble starts, big dreams and beating the odds

Amy Jones

'Thrillingly honest, funny, incisive and hopeful, this is the perfect gateway into a discussion on mental health' Marian Keyes 
 
'Truly one of the most powerful books about mental health that I’ve ever read.' Daisy Buchanan 
 
One of the Independent's top ten millennial memoirs of 2019 
 
How not to be good? Let me list the ways… 
 
Are you a woman? Do you make to-do lists to stop you losing your mind? Have you ever cried in the toilets at work, had a meltdown in the supermarket, or gone off the rails at a hen party? 
 
And have you ever been saved from any of the above by your truly brilliant friends? 
 
If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then this is the book for you. A moving, funny and brutally honest memoir of one woman’s millennial misadventures, The To-Do List and Other Debacles follows Amy Jones on her journeys through friendship, marriage and mental health disasters in a story that’s as relatable as it is riotous.

The To-Do List and Other Debacles

Mary Killen

'When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future.' - HM Queen Elizabeth II, Britain's longest-serving monarch and celebrated role model for our times. 
 
Examining such underrated virtues as duty, kindness and discretion, as exemplified by HM The Queen, Mary Killen has created a transformative guide for all who aspire to become happier, wiser and more adept at navigating life's ups and down with integrity and dignity. (We must always try not to swear.) 
 
In our throw-away fashion culture we'd all do well to follow The Queen's make-do-and-mend example. Sit up straight with a regal posture, and your digestion will benefit. Fit more into your life by following routines. Tidiness is a primary skill - as a small girl The Queen would arrange her shoes and sea shells into neat rows. To help with everyday anxieties we can study the mysterious but time-honoured techniques Her Majesty calls upon to rise above her own challenges. 
 
Packed with invaluable wisdom and insight, this small book carries a big purpose.

What Would HM The Queen Do?

Listen to the brand new dramatisation of How To Be a Woman, narrated by Caitlin herself, as part of BBC Radio 4's Riot Girls season 
 
Selected by Emma Watson for her feminist book club ‘Our Shared Shelf’ 
 
 
It's a good time to be a woman: we have the vote and the Pill, and we haven't been burnt as witches since 1727. However, a few nagging questions do remain... 
 
Why are we supposed to get Brazilians? Should we use Botox? Do men secretly hate us? And why does everyone ask you when you're going to have a baby? 
 
Part memoir, part rant, Caitlin answers the questions that every modern woman is asking.

How To Be a Woman

Trixie Mattel

Katya Zamolodchikova

SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 
 
Drag superstars Trixie Mattel and Katya have long captivated fans with their stunning looks, onscreen chemistry, and signature wit. In Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood, the pair channel that energy into an old-school etiquette guide for ladies. 
 
In essays and how-to sections peppered with hilarious, gorgeous photos, Trixie and Katya will advise readers on beauty and fashion and tackle other vital components of a happy home, such as money, entertaining and friendship; sharing advice and personal stories in high-concept fashion. 
 
Informative, humorous, and heartwarming, Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood is the book that their fans have been waiting for.

Trixie and Katya’s Guide to Modern Womanhood

Crystal Rasmussen

Longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize 2020 
 
Life's a drag... Why not be a queen? 
 
'Stories like the one where you shagged a 79-year-old builder and knocked over his sister's ashes while feeding him a Viagra. Or the time you crashed your car because you were giving a hand job in barely moving traffic and took your eye off the car in front. That's the kind of dinner-party ice-breaker I'm talking about.' 
 
Northern, working-class and shagging men three times her age, Crystal writes candidly about her search for 'the one'; sleeping with a VIP in an attempt to become a world famous journalist; getting hired and fired by a well-known fashion magazine; being torn between losing weight and gorging on KFC; and her need for constant sexual satisfaction (and where that takes her). 
 
Charting her day-to-day adventures over the course of a year, we encounter tucks, twists and sucks, heinous overspending and endless nights spent sprinting from problem to problem in a full face of make-up. 
 
This is a place where the previously unspeakable becomes the commendable - a unique portrayal of the queer experience. 
 
(c) 2019, Crystal Rasmussen (P) 2019 Penguin Audio

Diary of a Drag Queen

Peter Crouch

**A Daily Mail Book of the Year** 
 
What happens on the pitch is only half the story. 
 
Being a footballer is not just kicking a ball about with twenty-one other people on a big grass rectangle. Sometimes being a footballer is about accidentally becoming best mates with Mickey Rourke, or understanding why spitting is considered football’s most heinous crime. 
 
In How to be a Footballer, Peter Crouch took us into a world of bad tattoos and even worse haircuts, a world where you’re on the pitch one minute, spending too much money on a personalised number plate the next. In I, Robot, he lifts the lid even further on the beautiful game. We will learn about Gareth Bale’s magic beans, the Golden Rhombus of Saturday night entertainment, and why Crouchy’s dad walks his dog wearing an England tracksuit from 2005. 
 
Whether you’re an armchair expert, or out in the stands every Saturday, crazy for five-a-side or haven’t put on a pair of boots since school, this is the real inside story of how to be a footballer.

I, Robot

How to Be a Footballer 2

Caroline de Maigret

Sophie Mas

With playful wit, worldly advice and savvy observation, the bestselling authors of How to Be Parisian tackle the Parisian art of growing up. 
 
Caroline de Maigret and Sophie Mas are back to amuse you, saying what you don’t expect to hear, just the way you want to hear it. But this time they reveal how they are modifying their favourite bad girl habits and mischievous mindsets now they are more ‘madame’ than 'mademoiselle’. 
 
These iconoclastic, bohemian Parisiennes advise on love, seduction, fashion and dating as well as family, work, living alone and accepting imperfections. 
 
Both poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, this gorgeous, tongue-in-cheek guide astutely illuminates what it means to be a fully-fledged woman.

Older but Better, but Older

From the authors of How To Be Parisian

Camille Paglia

Hanna Rosin

Maureen Dowd

‘Men are so last century. They seem to have stopped evolving. The Mad Men world is disappearing and the guys are struggling to figure out the altered parameters of manliness.’ 
Maureen Dowd 
 
‘Do women get anything from men being obsolete? Do we win by triumphing in work, education, the economy, politics and business, while retaining homemaking and child rearing? If that happened then we will be doing everything! Are men obsolete? No! I won’t let you be you f*****s!’ 
Caitlin Moran 
 
Are Men Obsolete is an essential and entertaining read for anyone interested in what happens next in the great gender discussion. Maureen Dowd, Caitlin Moran, Camille Paglia and Hanna Roisin debate whether modern man is past his sell-by-date, and, if so, what does that mean for women?

Are Men Obsolete?

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter

Au Revois! 
 
The name’s Trotter, Derek Trotter, and the world of business is my speciality. When it comes to the art of closing deals I’ve been around the track more times than a lurcher. Not only have I been there, done it and bought the t-shirt, I’ve gone back round to do it again, printed my ownt-shirts, knocked ‘em out at ridiculously low prices and cut the competition out of the market. 
 
But the commodities game ain’t all champagne and skittles. It’s a rocky road full of potholes, speed cameras, people who don’t indicate, mouthy cyclists, and all sorts of obstacles designed to get on your tits. You Know It Makes Sense is the definitive business guide, designed pacifically to help steer you in the right direction. Packed full of insider knowledge, tips and warnings, think of it as your personal stat-nav on the corporate highway. 
 
And whether you’re a Director, middle management, a junior staff hotshot, or the one that fetches the sandwiches, it will help you get to where you’re going.

You Know it Makes Sense

Lessons from the Derek Trotter School of Business (and life)

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times 
 
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro 
 
**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year** 
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards** 
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year** 
 
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. 
 
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. 
 
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. 
 
I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

How to Be a Footballer

Rohan Candappa

What exactly does it mean to be British? Forget the official Citizenship Test, what do newcomers really need to understand to be part of this Great Nation? Does it involve wearing plastic Union Jack bowler hats? Perhaps sinking a tankard of ale? In these confused multicultural times it's difficult to know... 
 
Well, fear not, because Rules Britannia is here to answer the 101 Essential Questions of Britishness - from the straightforward ('What is the point of the Boat Race?') to the historical ('Why couldn't the Daleks conquer the universe?'); the metaphysical ('Who is the "one" who has been barred from "All Bar One"?') to the totally unfathomable ('Elizabeth Hurley. Explain.'). Within the wisdom-packed pages of this seminal tome you'll also discover how Tim Henman can be both a hero and a villain, why a stiff upper-lip is treated as a source of pride rather than a facial condition, and why custard and gravy - the two key lubricants of a frankly limited cuisine - are locked in a yin-and-yang like struggle for dominance which neither can ever win. 
 
Written with an absurd, off-beat sense of humour, bestselling author Rohan Candappa both sends up and celebrates our Sceptered Isle. And, after all, what could be more British than an absurd, off-beat sense of humour?

Rules Britannia

The 101 Essential Questions of Britishness Answered - From How to Keep a Stiff Upper Lip to Who Ate All the Pies

The year is 1Q84. This is the real world, there is no doubt about that. But in this world, there are two moons in the sky. Discover the 1Q84 Trilogy by Haruki Murakami.

1Q84

365 Days of Art

A BBC Christmas

A Black Book Thriller

A Box Full of Murders

A Cal Leandros Novel

A Christmas Mystery

The intelligent and capable police commissioner Guido Brunetti confronts crime in and around his home town of Venice.

A Commissario Brunetti Mystery

A DC Smith / Kings Lake Investigation Series

A Daisy Story

Chronicling the lives of over three hundred characters, unrivalled for its scope and humour, this is a unique evocation of life in twentieth-century England.

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