I Will Marry George Clooney (By Christmas)

A very funny Christmas novel, from the bestselling author of No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday and Single Woman Seeks Revenge

Loved this book. Tracy Bloom had me in stitches. Again.

This comic novel combines humour and wisdom with very entertaining results.

Tracy started writing when her cruel, heartless husband ripped her away from her dream job shopping for rollercoasters for the UK's leading theme parks, to live in America with a brand new baby and no mates. In a cunning plan to avoid domestic duties and people who didn't understand her Derbyshire accent, she wrote her romantic comedy, NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY. This novel went on to be successfully published internationally and became a #1 Best Seller on Amazon in 2013. 
 
Back in good old England she unleashed I WILL MARRY GEORGE CLOONEY (BY CHRISTMAS) just eleven days after her got married as well as SINGLE WOMAN SEEKS REVENGE, a must read for anyone who has been on the wrong side of a relationship. 
 
 
You can follow Tracy on Twitter at @TracyBBloom, or get in touch via her website at www.tracybloom.com

A very funny Christmas novel, from the bestselling author of No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday and Single Woman Seeks Revenge. 
 
There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only answer is to marry George Clooney. 
 
For Michelle, that time is now. 
 
Slogging her guts out in a chicken factory, whilst single-handedly bringing up a teenager who hates her, is far from the life that 36-year-old Michelle had planned. 
 
But marrying the most amazing man on the planet by Christmas could change all that, couldn’t it? 
 
Sometimes your only option is to dream the impossible - because you never know where it might take you… 
 
 
This is a fun, completely fantastical novel featuring George Clooney, and has not been authorised or endorsed by the wondrous man himself.

No-one Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday

The laugh-out-loud funny romantic comedy and no1 ebook bestseller - now available in print for the first time.

This hilarious book will sweep you up in its sheer brilliance

Does the rest of the story live up to the racy title? Yes!

A very funny romantic novel (... and no. 1 ebook bestseller) 
 
Childhood sweethearts Matthew and Katy agree they must never see each other again following a school reunion. 
 
So all is forgotten ... until eight months later when a shock meeting at an antenatal class forces them to confront the fact that Matthew could be the father of Katy's baby. 
 
Love and life are messy, but Katy and Matthew take things to a whole new level as deep emotions begin to resurface and hormones run riot. 
 
Never has a one-night-stand led to such chaos!

Tracy Bloom

Warm, witty and wise... funny and thought-provoking in equal measure

From the bestselling author of No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday ... Another very funny romantic novel. 
 
What do you do when you find your love-life in ruins? Get revenge on every man who ever broke your heart of course.... 
 
Suzie Miller, a disillusioned agony aunt, can't believe she's been dumped from a great height yet again (this time by text, straight after they've had sex... twice!). So she decides the time is right to make every one of her exes feel the pain she felt when they carelessly cast her aside. 
 
Her methods are unusual but humiliation on a grand scale is no less than they deserve. 
 
Euphoric that she's finally stood up for herself she starts suggesting outrageous ways for her readers to deal with their relationship nightmares too. Suddenly everyone wants Suzie's advice. Finally content with being single and enjoying her blossoming career it seems as though happiness is within her grasp. That is until a man gets in the way. 
 
Single Woman Seeks Revenge is a romantic comedy with a kick: a kick up the backside to any man who believes he got away with treating a woman badly and to any woman who doesn't fight back.

Single Woman Seeks Revenge

About us

About Us (Header 4)

Best-Jane-Austen-quotes_Online-Desktop_Penguin

James-Baldwin

Marian-Keyes

haruki-murakami-320×320-1

Richard-Osman

Malorie Blackman

Lisa-Jewell

Charlie-Mackesy

Authors (Header 3)

Children&#039;s

Company

Discover

Fiction

Non-fiction

Penguin Classics

Penguin Shop (Header 5)

Useful links

Work with us

sectionTitle

isEnabled

anchor

anchorLabel

prhuk/featured-book

prhuk/praise-section

maxBooks

showViewMore

prhuk/books-section

hideAuthorAlert

formName

iterableDivision

iterableBrand

buttonText

description

heading

legalText

successHeading

successText

image

alignment

variation

prhuk/email-section

prhuk/series-section

prhuk/biography-section

prhuk/articles-section

prhuk-authors

The perfect gift? A Penguin Shop gift card

East of Eden

Wuthering Heights

White Nights

Fyodor Dostoyevsky Boxed Set: Crime and Punishment, The Idiot, The Brothers Karamazov

Tracy Bloom

Praise for Single Woman Seeks Revenge

Warm, witty and wise... funny and thought-provoking in equal measure

Books by Tracy Bloom

Follow penguin

Follow ladybird

Follow puffin

Sign up to the Penguin newsletter