Image: Flynn Shore / Penguin
It is a truth universally acknowledged that break-ups completely and utterly suck, and we’re not here to try and tell you otherwise. Whether you’re dancing around the kitchen blasting Miley Cyrus’ Flowers, or mutely staring out the window like Bella Swan, it can often be difficult to know how to deal with the loss you’re feeling.
On top of the introspection and soul-searching you might be doing, it’s often in the words of others that we find the most comfort. With that in mind, we’ve pulled together the ultimate list of novels, essay collections, self-help books and manifestos to offer you solace, hope and practical advice in your time of need.
Author Natasha Lunn spent years feeling like love was out of reach, so she set out to discover how relationships work and evolve – and then channelled what she found into a very successful newsletter. After years of thoughtful and insightful interviews she (literally) wrote the book on love, speaking to lots of inspirational people on the subject; in Conversations on Love,
When you’re going through a break-up, sometimes all you want to read is stories of other people’s love going wrong – and we can’t say we blame you. In Acts of Desperation
The quintessential love guru for millennials, Dolly Alderton can now be found writing a brilliant agony aunt column in the Sunday Times Style . But before that, she wrote the bible on love, female friendship and dealing with heartbreak, Everything I Know About Love.
Okay, so you’re feeling a bit better. Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Are you almost ready to move on? If this describes the phase you are in, this book is for you. It’s the first book from anonymous relationship expert and columnist for OK! Online LalalaLetMeExplain, who regularly answers dating and love questions to their 229K Instagram followers. This book will teach you how to spot the red and green flags in dating, especially if you’re swearing off apps after disastrous dates or blaming yourself when things go wrong in your life; prepare to be empowered to use your voice and learn to spot the early warning signs. This is not a book on how you should date, but how to spot the troublesome ones before it’s too late.
Reading anything by Nora Ephron is like having your wisest, wittiest friend round for a bottle of wine, and that might be just what you need right now. This book is the ultimate anthology of her essays, articles, scripts and extracts from her greatest work – all thrown in with a foreword from Queenie author Candice Carty-Williams. Ephron muses on everything from journalism and feminism to relationships and love. It’s a book you’ll return to again and again, packed with kernels of wit and comfort for every aspect of your life, not just your break-up – although she will certainly be able to help with that, too.
Handling any kind of change in our lives can be stressful, especially when that comes in the form of a relationship ending. Acclaimed psychotherapist and bestselling author Julia Samuel seeks to provide an antidote to the chaos we all feel at various points in our lives. In This Too Shall Pass
The day that Claire Walsh gives birth to her first child is the day her husband announces he is leaving her for another woman. In utter shock, Claire doesn’t know what to do – so she turns to Mum and Dad back home in Dublin. In Keyes’ trademark fashion, this is a hilarious and heart-warming story of what it means to have the rug pulled out from underneath you, and finding humour in the things that happen to us. You will laugh, you will cry, and even though it’s a break-up novel, Keyes’ witty prose and the Walsh family dynamic will provide a wonderfully soothing balm for your soul. This one gets bonus points for having a sizeable catalogue of Walsh family novels for you to dive into after when you’ve finished.
You may recognise this book from Adele’s viral social media post, where she announced that this was the book that had taught her to love herself and change her life. It has sparked a cult following, and can count Oprah Winfrey and Reese Witherspon amongst its legions of fans. Partly memoir, part inspirational pep-talk, the key message here is that everyone has pain; it is how we deal with it that matters. Doyle points out that when the heart is ripped apart, the muscles grow back stronger, helping us to see and understand our own strength.
Comedian Helen Thorn is one half of hilarious podcast duo Scummy Mummies, and this book is her haphazard entrance into single life after the shock end of a 22-year relationship. Deeply funny, and achingly relatable, it feels like a big hug of a book that will remind you that going it alone doesn’t have to be the end – it can be just the beginning. It’s a reflection on finding yourself later on in life, and the advice stands whether you’re going through a divorce or a break-up.
A simple question spawned this bestselling collection of essays: What does your mental health mean to you? Over 60 inspirational people shared their stories for this compilation from Scarlett Curtis, of Feminists Don’t Wear Pink fame – Charlie Mackesy, Lena Dunham, and Naomi Campbell, to name a few – and it is as funny, moving and powerful as you would imagine. Whatever you are dealing with and wherever you are in the trajectory of your break-up, you will find some comfort in one of these essays.
Feel like you’re struggling to move on? Have you compiled your list of your all-time, top five most memorable break ups? No? Well, Rob has, and he still can’t work out why he keeps being dumped. This novel – which launched the career of international bestselling author Nick Hornby – has become the cult classic mediation on relationships, as Rob tries to unpick why we choose to share our lives with the people that we do. Enjoy the brilliantly curated music soundtrack throughout, and be comforted by the fact that there is always someone out there worse at relationships than you.
Dr Julie Smith first started out on TikTok by sharing helpful, bitesize tips on how to look after your brain to her followers during lockdown. She has now grown her following to an impressive 4.4 million, and launched a huge number one bestseller along the way. The book is a must-have handbook for optimising your mental well-being, ideal for guiding you through your mental health dips. Helpfully divided into sections based on how you might be feeling, you can search through topics like managing your anxiety, building self-confidence and battling low mood. Think of it as a toolkit for your mind that can provide you with ready-to-try solutions for whichever break-up phase you might find yourself in.
At a pub in Soho, two young Black artists meet for the first time, and begin their journey of falling in love. But how can two people who seem so destined for one another still seem unable to make it work? It’s a kind of love letter to the emotions we experience in life, how embracing vulnerability is okay and how sometimes love just doesn’t work out. The beautifully poetic writing will completely absorb you – Azumah Nelson is a supremely talented writer – and make you forget your own pain.
A break-up can also be a time to embrace the different kinds of love you have in our life, and for that, The Hungover Games
The narrator of My Year of Rest and Relaxation
